I’m not ready for 2019

Vi er kun noen få dager unna det nye året. Til vanlig ville jeg frantisk skrevet ned nyttårsforsett og satt mål for meg selv. Men dette året er jeg livredd. Til nå vet du vel hvor lett jeg bekymrer meg. Jeg har prøvd å kurere denne sykdommen (et par psykologer, daglige oppdateringer i en positivitets-dagbok, og pur dedikasjon er visst ikke nok) men uansett hvor hardt jeg prøver, vil jeg for alltid være en sånn en som bekymrer meg syk i en hver situasjon.
//We’re a few days away from a new year. Usually, I’m frantically writing resolutions and setting goals for myself. But this time around, I’m terrified. By now you probably know that I’m a worrier. I’ve tried to cure myself of this curse (a couple of therapists, writing a daily positivity journal, and pure dedication isn’t enough I guess) but however hard I try, I will forever worry the shit out of everything.

Nearly 2019

2019 er et år som bringer mye nytt med seg, og nytt betyr bekymring. I juli vil jeg fullføre universitetet, studielånet mitt vil renne ut, og kontrakten på leiligheten jeg har bodd de siste to årene vil gå ut. Jeg må rett og slett starte et nytt liv for meg selv, og jeg tisser på meg av redsel. Jeg prøver å være positiv, og på mange måter klarer jeg å trøste venninnene mine i samme situasjon, men for det meste begynner jeg å kjenne en klump i magen over hvor fort detter året har gått. 2019 virket en evighet unna, men nå er det snart her, og jeg er ikke klar.

//2019 is a big year for new things, and with newness comes worrying. In July I will be graduating University, I’ll run out of my student funding, and the lease of the flat I’ve been living in for two years is ending. Basically, I’ll have to create a new life for myself, and I’m shitting myself I’m so scared. I try to stay positive, and in some ways, I’m able to comfort my friends that are in the same situation, but for the most part, I’m starting to feel sick at how fast this year has come around. 2019 seemed an eternity away, but now it’s here, and I’m not ready.

Nearly 2019

Det føles ut som om 2019 er året jeg må bli voksen på ordentlig. Å flytte hjemmefra og starte studier var kun et babysteg. En luksuriøs limbo hvor jeg kunne late som om jeg var selvstendig selv om jeg egentlig bodde fem måneder av året hjemme hos foreldrene mine hver sommerferie og jul. For ikke å snakke om studielånet, som betydde trygghet og stabilitet, og betalte for leien og alt det essensielle uten problemer. Nå når lånet uungåelig vil renne ut må jeg lite på meg selv og min evne til å tjene ei lønning. Det er dritskummelt!

Jeg prøver å minne meg selv på at forandringer er sunt, og at jeg uansett ikke vil forbli hvor jeg er nå i livet for evig, hvor enn trygt det føles ut. Derfor må jeg gå modig inn i det nye året og ta utfordringene når kommer. Det blir tøft, men jeg takler det (tror jeg)

Hva er dine tanker om det nye året?

//It feels like 2019 will be the year I have to become an adult for real. Moving from home and starting University was just a baby step, a luxurious limbo of pretending to be independent, but still going home to live with my family for five months a year for summer and Christmas vacation. And of course having the student loan, which has provided security and stability, paying for my rent and every essential without any trouble. When the loan inevitably runs out I will have to count on myself alone and my ability to earn a salary. It’s terrifying!

I try to remind myself that change is good and that I wouldn’t want to stay in the position I’m in right now for eternity, however safe it feels. Therefore, I have to step boldly into the new year and take the challenges as they come. It will be difficult, but I can deal with it (I hope)

What are your thoughts on the new year?

 

 

I'm Martine, a bubbly and talkative twenty-one-year-old who's currently living in London. I love friendly people, sad films, silly movies, photography and blogging. Especially blogging.

3 Comments

  1. Your post resonated with me so much! We always worry so much and then realize later on that it was never as bad as we imagined. I’m sure you will figure it out this year and great things will happen to you! I’m looking forward to spending more time in your company in a few months! x

  2. The things you’re worrying about now, I didn’t worry about during my senior year of college, though I probably should have! Now I’ve graduated and the worrying has caught up to me 😛 These last six months post-grad have felt very scary, but these last few months I’ve been convincing myself to not be afraid of life. Still working on it! Spending the holiday season with friends and family has made it easier for me to stay positive and seize life though 🙂 We’re definitely all going through it, so don’t feel alone! That’s something I’ve discovered for myself as well. Happy New Year Martine! -Audrey | Brunch at Audrey’s

I'd love it if you left a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.